Sacrifices
by Tradgik


Oz watched as Willow and Xander walked across the grassy quad. They were talking and occasionally Willow would laugh at something Xander said. Oz saw the softness in the brown haired teenager�s eyes whenever he spoke to his best friend. He saw the way Willow�s eyes would light up when someone mentioned his name or when he joked with her. Oz saw a great many things, but he didn�t often like to open his mouth to tell people.

Oz loved Willow very much. He loved her intelligence and purity. He loved her devotion and honesty. And he loved her soul. He had often wondered why no one else had seen the beauty of her soul, why no one else had fallen in love with her. After his half a year of pondering and pursuit, he discovered someone else had fallen in love with Willow.

Running down the hallway, he swerved to miss a stretcher on wheels and turned into the doorway. As he was about to enter, he heard a voice inside. So he waited at the doorway. Oz recognised it as Xander, Willow�s best friend.

�...you�re my best friend. You�ve always...� the soft words were full of emotion. Oz bowed his head.

�I love you...� it was barely a whisper, but Oz�s superior hearing heard the confession. He was shocked, and then he heard the gentle words from Willow�s lips.

�Oz...Oz...�

So he stepped inside.

�I�m here, baby.� He didn�t look at Xander.

�I�ll get the nurse,� Xander excused himself.

Oz didn�t know what to say to him. Instead, he held Willow�s hand and kissed her forehead. Xander�s footsteps indicated he was running quickly off into the distance.

And now... he knew Xander was in love with Willow. How long? Had he loved her before Oz came into the picture? If so, why didn�t he and Willow get together? Oz had many questions floating in his mind, but only two certainties. He loved Willow, and he didn�t want to let her go.

Everyday at school, he�d watch as Xander would play the part of best friend. He�d joke and laugh and study with her, and Oz was forced to admit he never stepped over his boundaries. And he was loyal. But still, Oz was uneasy.

He watched as Xander sat down on the grass and Willow beside him. As they talked, the red haired girl instinctively put her arm on his shoulder as she comforted him. He was distorting his face, somewhat an impression of Cordelia from what Oz could gather. And Willow laughed with her eyes.

Xander smiled too, then asked Willow something with wiggling eyebrows. She looked jokingly indignant, then pushed him away. He mock fell on the grass, but pulled Willow�s arm. She fell over him with an exclamation of surprise.

She struggled to get up, but Xander grabbed an arm. They lay on the fresh grass, Willow straddled over him and scanning his chocolate eyes. She grinned and batted his hand way.

They played childishly, yet with a loving gentleness. As Oz watched them, he could look and see the happiness in her eyes. Not her nervous joy when Oz held her hand, or the shy kisses they exchanged. He saw the comfortable mutual love in the way Willow and Xander touched and talked. And it hurt Oz very much.

He looked down at the PEZ dispenser in his hands. The little witch had made him think of Willow. Then again, many things made Oz think of Willow. In fact, he had spent so much time thinking about her, and demons, and slaying, that his band practice was falling on his priority list. He had had a talking to from Devon twice already, and the other members of the band were giving him a hard time.

Oz inhaled and exhaled softly. He turned around and walked down the school hall.

* * *


He gave Willow the PEZ witch, and she�d been ecstatic.

�But...I don�t have anything for you,� she said sadly.

�Sure you do,� Oz replied. He walked off. She put the witch in her locker and closed it. Then she raced after him to catch up with her boyfriend.

�Well? What then?� She smiled. He looked over at her.

�Well what?� Oz asked.

�What have I- I for you?� Willow filled in, her eyes twinkling with happiness.

�Give me the truth.�

Willow looked puzzled. �Truth? About what? I never lie to you, Oz.� He shook his head. Oz stopped walking and drew her off to the side.

�No. I want to know the truth about your heart. Who do you love?�

Willow looked surprised, and a little embarrassed. �I love you, of course.� She smiled to assure him and leaned over to kiss him. Oz pulled away, his heart breaking.

�Willow, I think I�ve been cheating myself. Making myself think you could fall in love with me, as deeply as I�ve fallen for you,� he said seriously. As the words sunk in, he saw Willow�s beautiful face looking sad. And he fell in love with her all over again.

�But it�s a lie. You can�t love me because you�ve given so much of your heart away already. Or maybe it�s been stolen. Either way, I can tell the only path for your happiness, is through Xander.�

�What does Xander have to do with this?� Willow struggled to retaliate. She felt her cheeks go red, but her heart began to hurt.

�I know that you love him. And he loves you. And if he makes you as happy as you�ve made me, I wouldn�t have it any other way.� Oz looked into her eyes for a response. He saw the emotions of love, sadness and pain flow in the green pools. She blinked back tears.

�Oz, Oz, don�t do this...� she looked down.

�I�m afraid this is goodbye. I love you...� And the guitarist turned and walked silently away, leaving Willow staring at the floor, trying to stop the tears falling.

* * *


Oz entered the library. Giles was lost in the stacks while Cordelia was seated at the table, buffing her nails. She snapped to attention as Oz entered. He saw the hope in the eyes of the beautiful brunette. An inquiring eyebrow raised as she paused in mid buff.

He shook his head, and Cordelia�s face fell. She put her head in her hands and sighed.

�It�s my turn, then,� she said flatly.

Gathering her things, she walked briskly out of the library. Cordelia knew what she had to do.

She hated it, but she had to do it anyway.





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